Seems like lately all Zadi and I have been doing is bitching about things. We bitch about the show, we bitch about business, we bitch about people on the street, you name it. Part of that is stress, part of that is burnout, and part of it is misplaced indignation about things that are not really important.
Tonight we went for a late night jog to clear our heads and get a little exercise. On the cooldown walk back, we started talking and, as usual, bitching about things. Then then strangest thing happened.
A van pulled up next to us and an elderly woman lowered her window. She asked if we could help her by picking up her husband, who had fallen out of his seat inside the van. Zadi and I looked at each other and considered the situation. There was no way we were going near that van without her opening the doors and turning on the lights.
When she slid open the van's side door, there was a little old man crumpled up on the floor. He had fallen off of his motorized chair. It was obviously not a threatening situation, so I stepped inside to see what I could do.
I'm 6'3", about 200 lbs, and this elderly fellow was probably half my size. After considering the best way to lift him without hurting him, I picked him up off the floor and put him back into his seat. He was was clearly humiliated by the situation. Imagine having to ask a perfect stranger, sweaty from jogging, 11:30 at night, to lift him up like a child and help him sit back down in his chair. I got him settled in, told him no thanks were necessary, and they drove off to destinations unknown.
I believe life is really about noticing the small things. There we were, a young couple with everything in the world going for us, and what were we doing? We were complaining, as usual. Well, that was it. If you believe in signs, there was none clearer that this one. Shut our stupid mouths. Our problems are nothing, they are meaningless. Almost anyone would trade positions with us. We felt like fools.
There will always be reasons to bitch about things. Someone not treating you right? Sucks. Bad luck? Man, I feel for you. But you know what? That's about as far as it should go. Because that stuff just circles right back to you and pollutes your thinking.
Tonight really helped me locate my focus. When we got back home a situation we'd been dealing with suddenly came into very clear focus. It is amazing how clear your mind can become when you simply decide to turn off the unnecessary noise.
Bill Cammack said:
Well, injustice, etc is always worth complaining about, however it IS important to recognize the true context of one's situation in order to see things clearly.
I lived the life that you and Zadi and Rox and Shane describe for about three months recently, and that was three months too long. It's very easy to lose (or necessarily eject in order to get the business done) things that are important to you or useful or that truly float your boat in the process of not having enough hours a day, EVERY day, to accomplish your goals and then chill.
The trick is to find that balance between gettin' 'er done and chillin' where each side of that coin is a useful and gratifying experience.
Illus said:
Such good people. I hope this new focus brings even more happiness to my good friends.
cheryl colan said:
Great story. Thank you for sharing it. It's so true. When my consciousness turns bitchy I just need to think about 1999, when I was the sole caretaker for my grandma, and how horrible I felt when I finally had to take her to a nursing home, and how she died about 5 months later .... And then, remembering those days, how I never had one minute to myself, the responsibility of caring for someone you love who is literally helpless, well geez, what could I possibly have to bitch about now, with basically no responsibility except to myself, and generally problems I can control? I have the "No Sniveling" t-shirt. It's a life philosophy.
manda said:
i believe things happen for a reason. it's funny how sometimes things just have a way of working themselves out. the universe (&/or God) knows what we need and will give it to us.. we just have to be willing to see it.
i am glad you had this experience and that it helped you in a positive way.
i really wish we knew eachother better. and yeah, you and zadi are super lucky :P you're the cutest coolest couple in the country. fo sho.
Mike said:
I *loved* this post. And I love moment like these... when you are snapped out of your world and unexpectedly forced to look at your yourself and your situation from an outside point of view.
steve Garfield said:
I just came over, from bloglines, to comment and see that you used my photo of you guys from PNME.
That made me smile.
ryanne said:
yes! these are great moments. i know what you mean about the bitching. jay is really good about keeping us in the right perspective though. like 'hey we do what we love, we don't clock into an office'. oh yeah, our life rocks!! it's easy to lose that sometimes.
Mayank said:
Nice post mate thanks for sharing it. Makes you think really, about your own life and i personally always put a positive spin on things just try to be optimistic about everything and everyone.
